Friday, 14 June 2013
Thursday, 13 June 2013
Advice to Women on IPC 498A and Domestic Violence and Maintenance Cases
This blog gets a reasonable number of hits everyday. The main goal of the blog is clearly mentioned, both in its name, and in description. However it is quite likely that some of the visitors are women who have wandered over here and have filed a complaint against husband/in-laws/relatives/children/pet dog, or intend to do so. This post is specifically meant for them.
Firstly, IPC 498a was made to protect a woman from injury to life or limb, or mental harassment to the extent to drive her to suicide. All problems in marital life do not attract 498a, to the extent made clear in this SC judgment too.
Q: I want him to stay away from his parents and take a separate house, but he will not listen.
A: Maybe you do not realize that we are not living in a western country, where it is normal for individuals to live their own lives, and parents to live separately from children. Be sure that this is the same result you want from your brothers, i.e., they too should abandon parents or their wives should file 498a on them and surprise!!!, you may also get included as an accused, being relative of a husband. Or you firmly believe that when your children grow up, they are also entitled to ask you and your husband to move out since you are such a drag on their lives. Children learn from parents -- what goes around, comes around.
Q: But I need to teach a lesson to my husband, his parents etc. etc..
A: You will definitely be able to teach lesson but the results may not be what you intended. A sure separation/divorce is guaranteed in every 498a case. Be very clear if that is what you want by misusing law meant to protect women in desperate situation.
Q: I want to get a divorce and will not get one easily, so filing 498a may help me to get divorce.
A: Did it ever occur to you that laws are made in a democratic country by their elected representatives, and you are also responsible for the laws by having elected (or not voted) the lawmakers? Taking an illegal shortcut to achieve your ends may work in short term, but it may also give unintended results you did not hope for. For example, if you want to remarry after divorce, you may find out that many divorcee men do not want to marry ex-498a wives, since they fear they and their families could get hit by 498a by you after marriage. Be careful what you wish for.
On the other hand, many men have also learnt the techniques on how to survive false 498a cases, this blog is just one effort to help them fight injustice. So if you hoped for a quick divorce and fat alimony, but instead found out to be hanging around in courts with no divorce in sight, then that option of mutual consent divorce which you forego will seem like such a great idea! Alas, 498a is non-compoundable in most states, so now you got stuck.
Finally, following is official advice of Hyderabad police for women who want to file 498a. See if something is applicable for your case:
http://www.hyderabadpolice.gov.in/WomenCorner/498A.htm
Q: My husband does not listen to me, I want to file for maintenance under CrPC 125, DV Act (PWDVA) etc. because I am entitled to that as a wife. I will stay separately and enjoy the maintenance every month without having to work.
A: Surely you have been advised by some well-wishers, maybe even lawyers you approached. It reminds me of the saying: “With friends like these, who needs enemies?”. Did they not tell you that to file under DV Act, you have to allege domestic violence, so they will give you some cookie-cutter template to insert into your petition to allege things like: “I was not given food”, “I was thrown out in middle of night”, “I was locked in the bathroom by my mother-in-law”, and so on.
If any of these things are true or something similarly bad was done to you, then and then only you are eligible to file complaint under DV Act. If husband and his family have proofs otherwise, you may get nothing. Even if they are unable to prove, but you are unable to prove either, you may get a token maintenance. Did you intend to live next 30-40 years living like that? If you get remarried, then maintenance will also end. If you are capable of working, you could have a career, and earn lot more while doing something useful. But your advisers will not let you see that, they want you to believe you could get all the golden eggs by killing the hen right away. Option of filing maintenance should be used only if you cannot earn, and cannot live with husband due to his fault.
There is also a misconception being propagated that DV Act is more civil in nature, unlike 498a. So you can use DV Act to get maintenance from husband, and still continue to enjoy the status of being married (on paper at least). The problem is that you have to allege domestic violence under DV complaint, and if allegations are false, then your husband and his relatives will never trust you again in their life. A DV complaint is also a route to final divorce, just like 498a. If anyone says otherwise including your lawyer, ask them how many cases they have handled where woman and man are living happily in marriage after DV complaint was filed?
Read this post by another woman, who is happily re-married for 14 years now after becoming widow, but wants to file DV case on previous in-laws.
http://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/domestic-voilence-a-new-turn-26194.aspEven though she says she is living happily, probably she is not happy enough, so her ‘advisers’ will try to make her happier, but these advisers will stick around with you only so long as the going is good. And you will get dropped like a hot stone as soon as they realize that you are not going to bring much moolah for anyone.
can a widow who remarried and is living happily with her new husband with whom she has kids, can file case under D V act on her previous father in law and mother in law ,after 11 yrs of her remarriage .her first hubby died in 1993 and she got remarried in 1996, whats her locus standi
pl advice
Here is a public legal notice by a mother against her own daughter, who probably filed false complaint against her husband and got divorce. When you misuse law, you break the trust of many people, including your own blood relatives, so don’t be surprised at the results.
Source : http://nyayayodha.blogspot.in/
Various Modes to Crack 498A and Related Cases
METHOD 1. FOLLOWING THE TRIAL & PROVING INNOCENCE.
Advantages:
1. Text book method following judicial system to get the formal acquittal order.
2. Post acquittal, we can file perjury U/s 340, malicious prosecution & defamation suit, which will destroy the 498a family completely.
3. Scope for financial compensation thru defamation suit.
Disadvantages:
1.Time consuming; have to be patient with great Indian Judiciary's efficiency.
2.Will take anything between 2 7 Yrs.
3.Need to cope up half baked lawyers from both the sides.
METHOD 2. FILING COUNTER-CASES AGAINST 498a FAMILY.
Advantages:
1. By giving the same medicine to the opponents, 498a case may get over in short time.(DP3, Threatening, Cheating, 406 etc)
2. Indirect pressure can be created to the opponents, so that they will not not time to harass you more.
Disadvantages:
1.Very delicate in nature. Needs to do lot of home work & legal analysis, before retaliating with counter-cases.
2.Very Costly affair & time consuming.
3.Counter-cases may back fire, if not launched properly.
4.Some counter-cases may be of cooked nature, which will be a "misuse of law" & against our SIFF policies.
5. Has to deal with lawyers & will be another headache.
METHOD 3. COMPLAINING TO HIGHER AUTHORITIES:
Advantages:
1.Taking the case details based on merit,to higher authorities & Officers such as Human rights, DGP, Collector, Commissioner, Home Secretary, Income Tax Dept. etc, will solve the case in shorter time.
2.Cheaper mode & may close the cases in shorter time duration.(1- 6 Months)
3.Can handle without much legal aid & lawyers.
4. All the cases shall be closed in ONE GO. (498a, Divorce, Maintenance, DV etc)
Disadvantages:
1.This mode will be applicable based on 498a family & opponents profile & background.
2.Complaints have to be placed immediately after the threats & cases.
3.Government machinery may not work with expected efficiency, which may delay the process.
4. USING RTI APPLICATIONS:
Advantages:
1.Cheapest mode & consumes relatively lesser time to close the case.(4 12 Months)
2.We can screw the 498a family royally, with this "Legal Cruelty" tool.
3.May cause irretrievable damage to the opponents, apart from closure of 498a case & other related cases.
4.Can handle without legal aid & lawyers.
5.No limit & can fire numerous RTIs based on the opponents' profile.
6. Can be used against POLICE & JUDICIAL SYSTEM to create indirect pressure by exposing their law violations & atrocities.
Disadvantages:
1.498a family members or witnesses, needs to be government jobs & related activities.
2.Needs to cope up with time delay for RTI replies from govt. departments & information commission response for appeals.
3.Government machinery may not work with expected efficiency.
4.Very indirect method of attacking the opponents.
5. Needs lot of brainstorming before drafting RTI queries, to hit the Bulls' Eye.
Source : http://bok498a.blogspot.in/
Never commit suicide - Instead go and kill the problem
My advice has worked positively for few people I interacted so thought of sharing with all I can. Someone was frustrated and said “I want to commit suicide.” I suggested what I tell myself. I am very polite & soft person but not so for those who thought of hitting me.
To that person I told that you would make your enemy happy & give pain to loved ones. Look at the love in your life. This is what you accomplish with suicide.That you cannot kill himself as
1. We never see any animal doing it. Are you worse than animals?
2. Problem remains and you are gone.
3. You have not really fought like a warrior.
Now that problem has given you so much pain why are you not going to hit back at it. Hit at the problem without fear of death as you are ready to kill yourself. Let that problem kill you in this fight & this method of suicide is what I would suggest you. When you will go ahead with this attitude you will die a heroic death & not like that of a looser.
Let problem get taste of what it has given you. Let it fear you.
Now choose what you want to do.
It was surprising that people did fight this way & succeeded in killing the problem or problem had become smaller.
Go before God as warrior killed in field fighting problem & not like someone who left the battlefield.
Read “DO NOT COMPROMISE” as you should not forget that this person was once a reason for suicide. You will see that person pushing for negotiations & this is how I negotiate. NO I DO NOT DO THIS.
My advice to that person was I myself think.LIVE LIFE to see your opponent on negotiating table return empty handed.
Src : http://misuseof498alaw.blogspot.in/2011/06/never-commit-suicide-instead-go-and.html
What is actual conviction rate in 498A
Please
understand few things with reference to criminal cases and 498-A in
particular. As the saying goes Statistics tell few things, but hide a
lot more. The no of people spending time in prison may not have anything
to do with the total convictions happening in trial courts.
Most
of the times, it is not only one section of IPC that an alleged
criminal is booked. Most of the 498-A cases has another couple of
sections attached. Most of the instances these sections are 406 and 506
of IPC. And if the female is no longer alive, the sections added are
304-B, 306 etc etc.
Now
coming to the low conviction rate for 498-A alone of in conjunction
with other alleged crimes. Here are few things which should be thought
for your mind and others.
1.
For conviction to happen in lower court and the same to be sustained in
higher court in appeal, the prosecution should establish the guilt of
the accused beyond reasonable boubt. To think of reasonable doubt, see
any FIR and there are allegations abound which makes the accused look
like a dracula. The establishment of the tall story they made in FIR
through evidences is a tough task. The non-proving of the tall claims
lead to a doubt in the mind of court that the story in FIR is concocted
and untrue and which should mean acquittal. However, there have been
instances where the courts have erred and convicted an accused based on
just the testimony and doubtful evidences, the same have been acquitted
in appeal.
2.
Most of the 498-A cases are compounded/ quashed by mutual consent
before the completion of trial. As the justice delivery system is so
prolonged after the initial heal settles down or the ego of the girl's
family is satiated that they have atleast once imprisoned the boy and
his family member. The cries of compromise begins. Most don't want to
spend the lives in courts and going grey in the head. Hence a settlement
is reached. Few judges and lawyers told me that the rate of such
quashing is as high as 90-95% of total cases filed. Hence low conviction
rate is just a by-product of such settlements.
3.
Most of the cases that you read in websites etc are appeal cases. Which
means that either the appeal is made to the court of second appeal,
which is High Court (Session is often court of first appeal) or court of
last resort, which is Supreme Court. Now come to think of it, who would
go to these courts, the people who are convicted for a larger sentence
than they have already undergone. For example an accused spent 30 days
in prison before getting bail, and the court convicts him to 30 days
only. Then there is no point of that person spending another years in
courts trying to clear his name. Or a person is convicted and the judge
left him by stating, "Mr. X, you are reprimanded." or by sentencing him
till the lifting of the court.
These
kind of cases rarely come for appeal. Similarly when the conviction is
set aside by the Session Court, the appeal to High Court is unheard of.State
generally does not go in for appeal if the person is acquitted. (There
is a tendency on part of few judges to convict a person citing some
vague reason to the term already undergone so as to avoid further
litigation of defamation etc.).
Hence deducing anything from looking at cases on websites and figures of NCRB would be absurd.
And
anyways having a fear of being convicted while fighting these cases is a
recipe for disaster. I would rather say it like this, rarely an
innocent person is convicted in Indian Courts. However there are
instances when the culprits have been let loose.
And
also, to add some more, I would like to tell you that when the trial
court convicts a person for 498-A or any crime which has a punishment of
upto 3 years, it extends the bail period to enable the person to go in
for appeal. The convicted person is not remanded to custody unless he
has exhausted the option of first appeal.
Src : http://misuseof498alaw.blogspot.in/2011/06/what-is-actual-conviction-rate-in-498a.html
Parental intrusion ruining couples' marital life: Delhi high court
NEW
DELHI: The interference of parents in the married life of their
daughters has become a major cause for playing havoc with the lives
of young couples post marriage, the Delhi high court has said.
Expressing
concern over rift between couples due to parents' persistent
interference in their daughter's married life, Justice Kailash
Gambhir upheld a lower court's decree of divorce to a man on the
ground of his in-laws' frequent interference in his marital life.
Justice
Gambhir said parents should draw a line to let their daughters lead
happy married lives.
"All
parents guide, teach and discipline their daughters and are concerned
about their welfare after marriage but it is imperative for parents
to draw a line as the prime concern should be that their daughter is
happily settled in a new atmosphere at the husband's place," he
said.
But,
it should not mean day-to-day monitoring of the affairs taking place
at the matrimonial home of the daughter, he said.
Parents
should not become uninvited judges of problems of their daughter,
become an obstacle in the daughter's married life, plant thoughts in
her mind and gain control over her and promote disharmony in her
family life, the judge said.
"They
are expected to advise, support and believe in their upbringing
maintaining a discreet silence about the affairs of the matrimonial
relationship," the court said.
"The
present case is an unfortunate example where the parents of the
appellant, instead of putting out the fire have fuelled and fanned
it," the
court said, dismissing an appeal filed by the wife challenging the
lower court's order granting the man decree of divorce.
According
to the husband, the difference with his wife started a few months
after their marriage in 1990 due to frequent interference of his
in-laws.
He
alleged that he was even hit publicly by his father-in law two years
after his marriage.
Seeking
decree of divorce, he had approached the court, which allowed his
plea on the grounds of cruelty by his wife due to continuous
interference by his in-laws.
So,
Unwanted
intrusion into their children's married life create a lot of
problems leading to divorce.
Just married Have you applied for Bail by Suresh P
બેંગ્લોર નો આઈ ટી એન્જીનીયર તેના લગ્ન પછી કઈ રીતે કાયદાકીય મુશ્કેલી માં ફસાય જાય છે અને પછી કઈ રીતે પોતાની જાત ને આ કાયદાકીય ત્રાસવાદ (૪૯૮(ક) અથવા તો ૪૯૮(અ)) ના કેસ (દહેજ ની માંગણી અને શારીરિક માનસિક ત્રાસ ) ને લડવા માટે પોતાના મન ને મક્કમ કરે છે તેણી એક સચોટ આલેખન આ પુસ્તક માં કરેલ છે.
એક વાર તો વાંચવા જેવું ખરું જ .
How to Get Peace when marriage is on the Rocks
SIF
- How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks
Table
of Contents
1.
How to get online support?
2.
Warning about involvement of Lawyers.
3.
How to use SIF Local Chapter meetings?
4.
SIF Partner Organisations for Specialist Guidance and/or Campaigns.
5.
What is the Life Cycle of Marital Problems?
6.
Generic Legal Strategy for Beginners.
7.
Guidance if you are anticipating 498a or
dowry cases.
8.
How to get to see Child and Shared Parenting.
Happy
Reading through this PDF Book!!
The
Authors and Save Indian Family will not take any responsibility for
any actions taken by
members
based on the advice or guidance in this book and any consequences
arising out of
these
actions. People are advised to consult their psychologist or lawyer
before taking actions.
The
Authors will really appreciate if you do not call us arrogant fools,
selfish dictators, hypocrites and cheats who deserve a
case
of IPC section 420!!
©
2012, gorky_maksim@yahoo.com
Publisher:
Save Indian Family, Yahoogroup SaveIndianFamily.
ALL
RIGHTS RESERVED. This book contains material protected under
International, and Federal
Copyright
Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material
is prohibited. No part of
this
book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means,
electronic or mechanical,
including
photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval
system without express
written
permission from the author / publisher.
SIF
- How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks
How
to Get Online Support when you are in SIF?
You
can get basic elementary support and coaching in SIF Yahoogroup.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/saveindianfamily/
You
can also join and use Chat in Save Indian Family Facebook group to
chat with members.
http://www.facebook.com/groups/125795646030/
You
can also chat with Masculinist Sumanth, Rukmachary, Amit Deshpande,
Rajesh Vakharia etc
in
facebook.
http://www.facebook.com/sumanth167;
http://www.facebook.com/rukmachary
http://www.facebook.com/adeshpande1;http://www.facebook.com/rajesh.vakharia.5
Please
note, the best person to get Legal Advice is your Lawyer, because
Lawyers in India do
know
the Law. You can speak to SIF members to verify if lawyer is doing
good job or just
bullshitting.
Please Remember: Laws are not followed
or implemented same way across India.
They
differ from state to state and city to city or rural areas. Your
Local Lawyer or Local city
SIF
members know that better than SIF guys in other cities.
Warning
about Lawyers Involvement:
SIF
is not run by Lawyers. SIF members do not (also must not) recommend
Lawyers to other
members.
In a real emergency, lawyers may be suggested with clear disclaimer
to members
that
SIF or its members will not be responsible for any consequences
including arrests, jailing or
loss
of money arising out of the advice or services given by those
lawyers. A member who seeks
lawyer
during that emergency will take all responsibility for the lawyer’s
action.
How
to Use SIF Local Chapter meetings?
A
number of big cities and state capitals have SIF Local Chapters,
which conduct weekend
meetings,
where a member can get free advice, support and coaching. They are
much more
than
some legal advice forums.
These
meetings are like Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. You will feel good
when you meet
other
men facing the same problem and when you and they share each other’s
emotions. No
man
is judged in these meetings and no one will take your wife’s side
in this meeting. No one
will
also tell you to compromise and be a slave of your wife (like the way
some of your friends
or
relatives do).
However,
SIF and its Local Chapters expect you to be a Men’s Rights Activist
and campaign
against
the Gender Biased Laws. This is mandatory condition for being a
member. The amount
SIF
- How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks
of
work expected from an activist is very less. So, just do not worry.
Of course, if you are
passionate
and wish to contribute a lot as a volunteer and men’s rights
activist, No one will stop
you.
In
Local Chapter meetings, listen patiently to complete stories of at
least 5 members, who
have
faced threats, abuse or legal cases and appear to be happy, strong,
passionate and
peaceful
in spite of all the adverse circumstances. Do not get attracted to
those SIF members,
who
are sad, suck life and seem frustrated. This is very important.
You
can find phone numbers of many SIF local chapters at:
www.savefamily.org
,
www.saveindianfamily.org
If
you observe any unethical activities in SIF Local chapters, then you
can contact following
people
in facebook.
http://www.facebook.com/swarup.sarkar.754;
http://www.facebook.com/menseekjustice
http://www.facebook.com/sumanth167
If
you want to be a volunteer for guiding and coaching distressed men or
if you want to create a
local
chapter in India or abroad, then Sumanth conducts a free course for a
few days in a month
in
facebook chat or skype. This coaching helps you make distressed men
more peaceful and
relaxed
apart from helping you developing legal strategies for them.
http://www.facebook.com/sumanth167
SIF
Partner Organisations (NGOs and Companies)
SIF
Partner Organisations are associates of SIF due to their similar
goals for protecting Men’s
Rights
and end Gender Biased roles. These partner organizations further
specialize on
different
Men’s
Rights issues, coaching and strategies etc. Generally,
you will find specialists and
experts
in these Partner Organisations.
Partner
Organisations extend the scope and the reach of SIF in different
dimensions. For
example,
CRISP is a Father’s Rights Partner Organisation of SIF, only
specializing in Father’s
Rights
and Child Custody. It has supported many men and some very high
profile cases, where
CBI
got involved and Supreme Court gave the NRI child to father.
Similarly, AIMPF is a Partner
Organisation
run by “Mothers of Abused Men”.
Remember,
not all partner NGOs may provide free services like SIF or SIF local
chapters. Some
can
have membership fees and some may expect a donation. SIF stops
partnering with any
organization
that promotes feminism, women’s rights or misandry.
SIF
- How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks
In
Future, it is expected that SIF’s Partner Organisations will create
Domestic Violence Shelters,
Hostels
and old age homes for Men and Male Studies and male gender
sensitivity courses for
colleges
and workshops for Corporates.
Some
of the Partner Organisations are:
Children’s
Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP)
It
is headed by Kumar Jahgirdar, Father of India’s Father’s rights
movement. He fought for more
than
decade to get custody of his daughter from his ex-wife, who married
Cricketer Anil
Khumble.
Through its campaigns, protests and huge awareness through media
articles and TV
interviews,
CRISP changed the scene for shared parenting in India for many
fathers. Without
CRISP,
almost all fathers would not have been even seeing their children
today.
Website:
www.crisp-india.org
CRISP
may expect a donation or sponsorships during its campaigns and
protests.
Center
for Men’s Rights:
CMR
Provides
counseling to men, who are facing any violation of their fundamental
or human rights
mainly
because of their male gender. CMR
also conducts
public awareness events, workshops,
seminars,
and press conferences on issues of men’s rights and welfare.
Website:
http://menrights.org
CMR
mentions a yearly membership fee of Rs.300 to be paid during
enrollment.
MyNation
Foundation:
My
Nation is Men’s Rights Self Help Support Group for victims of false
cases of dowry
harassment
or section 498a and Other Gender biased Laws. My nation campaigns to
expose the
feminists
and end the gender biased laws by making all laws gender neutral. It
also campaigns
for
banning all abortions/foeticide and establishment of men’s welfare
ministry.
Website:
http://mynation.net
My
Nation may expect a donation from its members.
Confidare
India:
Confidare
India specializes in giving 24/7 support and coaching to its members.
Members can
seek
guidance, support and coaching via email, phone call or visits to its
Center at Bangalore.
Confidare’s
life-coaching gives as much emphasis on mental well being and peace
of a
victimized
man, as much as it focuses on legal strategies, police complaints and
RTIs etc.
Website:
www.confidareindia.com
Confidare
has a half yearly membership fee Rs.2500 for resident Indians.
SIF
- How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks
Rakshak
Foundation
Rakshak
is the only credible organization for men’s rights outside India.
It is based in California,
USA.
Rakshak has maintained helplines for men in USA and it runs a forum
for NRI men in its
website.
Rakshak has campaigned and lobbied for changes of gender biased laws,
especially
section
498a of IPC and it has testified before Indian Parliament for changes
in Gender Biased
Laws.
Rakshak Foundation is 501 (c)(3) certified and hence the donations
made to Rakshak
Foundation
are tax exempt.
Website:
www.498a.org
Rakshak
may expect a donation or membership fee. According to Rakshak
website, for its
awareness
campaigns Rakshak suggests a donation of USD 200.
What
is the Life Cycle of Marital Problems?
The
Marital problems generally start with differences, high expectations,
abuse and domestic
violence
against men. Women make a lot of personal emotional attacks on men
trying to harm
their
self esteem. They will find fault with anything the man does. Women
are emotionally
intense
and more stubborn than men. Lack of logic and a frame of reference in
their minds
make
it difficult for a man to deal with them during marital problems. In
general, abusing
women
resist going to any marital counselors.
The
second phase of
Marital Problems is when her parents get involved and together with
wife
they
all start abusing the man.
The
third phase is
when they actually threaten of revenge, police cases and taking
revenge on
the
man and his family.
Now,
all these phases may happen in 10 days of marriage or even 20 years
of marriages.
The
fourth phase is
when the wife goes to police stations to complain against husband or
when
wife
deserts him or when wife files any other cases in family court,
Domestic violence courts
etc.
This is the most difficult phase for men.
The
fifth phase is
when a man is much into criminal cases and/or civil family court
cases or
domestic
violence cases. Actually, this is more or less a pretty safe and
peaceful phase for men
provided
men really get in touch with “REALITY”. However, most men suffer
most in this phase
due
to living in delusions. This phase can be often being as long as 7 to
8 years or even more. A
man
may file for child custody and get shared parenting during this time.
A lot of financial and
psychological
damage happens to most men during this time, often prime of their
life.
SIF
- How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks
The
sixth phase is when either the man wins the court cases, or he does
some sort of monetary
settlements
to wife or succumbs to their legal extortion and gets divorce.
The
seventh phase is the phase of recovery for man. He may or may not
think of remarrying.
Please
note, this is Life Cycle of Marital Problems. The court cases in 5th
phase have their own
life
cycles.
A
lot of misery, loss of money and pain can be reduced if men do not
make serious strategic
mistakes
in first four phases. However, only a few men have patience,
tolerance and wisdom to
stop
them from making strategic mistakes. Most men make serious strategic
mistakes by overreacting
due
to their arrogance, over confidence on judicial system, bad
estimation of court
delays,
bad estimation of lawyer fees and miscalculation of wife’s plans.
Most
men think Judges are dumb and judges will allow high speed legal
counter attacks by
men.
The reality is most judges are actually like wife’s lawyers and who
will go to great lengths
to
protect the wife and discriminate the man. Many men also use “nice
guy” arguments
believing
that “I am a nice guy and hence I should get justice” theme will
make the judges take
fair
decisions.
Most
Indian Judges are given trainings of gender sensitivity by feminists
and hence the entire
system
is institutionalized to discriminate men, even when a woman is
clearly wrong in 10
different
counts with all evidences.
So,
the only formula for a Man is:
Fight
an Extremely Defensive Battle initially.
For
a year or year and half, just restrain yourself and let the woman
burn all her ammunitions.
(Learn
all the legal tricks and court craft by this time). Keep your legal
weapons sharpened.
Just
wait. Do nothing. Do absolutely nothing. The temptations can be very
high.
Allow
her to make mistakes and contradictions in her complaints and in her
petitions.
After
1.5 year to 2 years, choose and select the finest yet strong legal
offensive.
(A
surgeon who performs surgery with a minor incision is much better
than a surgeon who
makes
10 cuts all over the body to do a single operation.)
Avoid
those legal steps, which your wife anticipates. Your goal has to
confuse her and keep her
in
uncertainty.
SIF
- How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks
So,
remember: The battle is 80% defense and 20% attack.
Defense
means defense of police complaints, court cases, your personal well
being, your
money,
your time and even wellbeing of your own mental health and family
relationships.
When
you have a good defense, you will not make any mistakes and while her
legal mistakes
will
slowly mount. Why?
When
women desert men and go to police stations etc, a lot of people egg
on them. Apart from
their
parents, the police, the lawyers and the relatives tell her, “We
will teach the bastard a
lesson”.
That will keep the moral of the woman very high. This over confidence
makes her make
legal
mistakes. Her lawyers often use “fixed legal templates” rather
preparing her complete
petitions
from start. These templates will automatically create contradictions.
Please
note, most women just like men do not like courts and police
stations, which are very
uncomfortable
places. So, their motivation is to file the cases and vanish. That is
actually good
for
a man. A woman who is used to courts is a dangerous woman.
So,
do not make her get used to courts with legal counter attacks from
very beginning. She will
be
protected by judiciary and she may become uncomfortable or under
duress for sometime
but
when she recovers, she becomes an expert in this nasty game.
For
1.5 years to 2 years, defend yourself, your money and your time. Get
used to her all attacks,
save
your job and get educated from SIF and learn how courts and laws
work, enjoy life. In the
meantime,
her returns from all her offenses will drastically reduce and her
motivation will
weaver.
Then, start executing your few but precise pre-calculated legal
offenses.
It
is all about who blinks first. You must not be the first one to blink
first.
In
short, fight a battle of Attrition, not a battle of Escalation.
Your
goal is to save your resources (money, time, job, mental well being)
and allow her deplete
her
resources. A legal escalation from your side from the very beginning
will rapidly deplete
your
resources, while her resources remain intact.
SIF
- How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks
Do
not apply divorce:
It
has been found that the time it takes to get divorce is often
independent of when you file
divorce.
Men who did not file divorce at all, can get divorce by mutual
consent or wife filing
divorce
in 2 to 4 years, whereas, men who file divorce may not get divorce
after 5 or 6 years.
Getting
divorce is not a function of legal advice or legal expertise. Getting
divorce in India is a
function
of how smart and strategic you are. Of course, a few of you may be
smart, yet unlucky.
Women
expect men to file divorce. Women enjoy the pleasure of seeing their
men without
partners
getting tormented without being able to have sex. When you do not
file divorce, this
entire
well known game fails and the woman loses all that pleasure of seeing
you getting
tormented.
She will be in great pain for not being able to use your male
sexuality against you.
Get
a girlfriend, if you really want female company. Trust me; it is no
big deal for any guy.
Of
course, you can choose to file divorce, when you see your wife is
mostly defanged or she is
not
doing anything for two or more years after deserting you.
What
is battle of Escalation?
Wife
threatens 498a and DV cases and demands huge money.
Due
to advice of family elders and pressure from parents, you sit for
settlement talks. She asks
50
Lakhs and you offer 10 Lakhs. (First big Mistake on your Part)
No
settlement. Wife files 498a and DV cases with a lot of lies. You
somehow get bail.
As
you want to get out quickly, based on lawyer's advice, you file
Divorce.
Wife
demands maintenance. (Now, you have 3 Cases to fight).
You
try to file DP-3 on wife and waste time running to police stations.
Finally you file it. (It is 4th
case)
Now,
wife files some other criminal case on you (say trespass case) or
cyber crime case. (Now it
is
5th case)
SIF
- How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks
Maintenance
is ordered in lower court. You go for appeal. (Now, it is 6th Case)
You
go to High Court for Quash and get a stay in 498a. (It is 7th Court
case now).
By
this time, you have taken too many leaves, spent too much money, and
you are still trapped,
while
all you wanted was to get out quickly. Your boss threatens to sack
you.
You
have depleted your all mental energy, time and money. Now, you risk
losing Job and lose
Job.
After
losing Job, it becomes even more difficult.
Someone
suggests you to fight Party in Person and you will wonder about not
taking up a job to
make
maintenance zero. Your financial resources deplete further. If you
have a child and you
file
child custody case, it makes your situation even worse.
If
you have cases in different cities, you are even more badly screwed
travelling around.
When
you file cases, you assume that Courts are fair and balanced. That
assumption
unfortunately
is terribly wrong.
==============
Do
not fight Battle of Escalation.
Do
not increase your cases, from your side.
Do
not File Divorce in first place.
Reserve
your Legal offenses for right time. It generally starts after 1.5 to
2nd year of her
offensive.
Exploit
your wife's lies in existing cases.
Make
her deplete her resources, by behaving in unanticipated way.
Most
women anticipate you to file Divorce.
When
you do not file Divorce, it often confuses women.
================
SIF
- How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks
How
to Protect yourself when you anticipate a Section 498a case?
1)
Do not think that filing divorce will stop her 498a.
2)
Divorce is a crucial card that must not be wasted in the beginning.
So,
do not file divorce.
There
is nothing called "first legal blow" that will put woman on
defensive.
Such
macho thinking has screwed many men. Do not think that a cricket
batsman
should
try to hit sixes and fours from the first over in a one day game.
How
do you defend against 498a?
===========================
1)
Do not stay with parents or brothers/sisters. Stay separately.
That
way, police can not arrest everyone at same time. Go to a cheap
paying guest or shared
accommodation
with some friend. Naturally female will not know where u are staying.
I
know, most parents and most guys do not like it due to "mera
beta...mera beta syndrome".
2)
Never change or switch off mobile phones. Some 498a women and police
now a days have a tendency
to
contact you before they attack.
3)
Most parents do a lot of emotional drama when there are threats of
498a. Some parents may listen to
lawyer
and trust him more than you. Fathers sometimes force guys to send
legal notices to female or
even
file divorce. Old people think with inflexible mind. Their anxiety
can take a toll on the guy.
So,
just relax and tell them to relax. Get a brother or cousin to
convince parents and take care of their
swinging
emotions.
4)
Apply anticipatory bail. Do not bother if lawyer says it will expire
in next 2 months.
5)
Never do settlement talks and never involve parents. Never give
counter offer to them if they
demand
20 lakhs or 50 lakhs etc.
SIF
- How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks
It
is a strategic mistake. Guys who offer 8 or 10 lakhs, make the girl
feel confident that "10 lakhs is
assured"
even before the case. This will motivate her to increase her pressure
by filing more and more
cases
and giving more and more threats.
If
you tell the girl:
I
will go to jail for a few days, I will give you "zero"
money and I will fight cases for next 15 years till
supreme
court. I am "Ek Panti Vrat Pati" like Bhagawan Ram. I will
never give you divorce and now the
choice
is yours.
Then,
she has a lot of home work to do and she has got a lot of uncertainty
in her hands.
6)
If your lawyer is talking about settlement, then change the lawyer.
7)
If there is any sign of she filing 498a, then just abscond. Your
whole family should abscond.
8)
Never walk into a police station when they call you saying, your wife
has filed a complaint. Send your
lawyer.
Police
cannot call you just like that on phone. They have to send summons or
notice of appearance to
appear
before them. Be courageous and peacefully tell police,"I am busy
I will call in 15 minutes". After
15
minutes call police and tell them,"I love my wife. Please send
me a notice to my address to appear in
person
in your police station, then I will appear."
Police
will understand what exactly you are talking. They may get angry or
show irritation. That is like a
"territorial
aggression" that many animals show (remember movie Avatar). Hold
your ground and be
firm.
9)
In your company, tell your boss that your father-in-law is a goon and
he is trying to get you beaten up.
He
may implicate me in false cases. Do not share too much freely with
managers even if they show a lot
of
sympathy and agreement with you.
10)
Plan for safe exists from your company in case, police comes there.
(It is like using a back gate etc, or
any
other such technique). Police generally does not enter inside private
companies.
So,
the most important point is: Change your residential address or go to
a paying guest
accommodation.
Do not stay with your parents.
Be
careful in Fridays and Saturdays. Trust us. This works.
Follow
this advice exactly as it is. Do not just go somewhere to stay for 5
days and then come back to
your
parent's house, when you see no risks.
SIF
- How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks
Threats
of 498a is called legal terrorism. A victim of legal terrorism cannot
have a perfectly normal life
very
soon. So, do not dream about marrying another beautiful girl to
settle down in life just like your
father,
grand father and great grandfather.We are paying for inaction and
selfishness of all men born
before
us. We are paying for not having any sympathy or concern for Men's
Rights, until we ourselves
get
screwed.
Finally,
do not be afraid to go to jail. Nothing happens in Jail.
How
to Get access to your Child and Get Shared Parenting or Custody?
So
many guys have not been able to see their children. How do you access
your children, get visitation,
custody
and shared parenting?
1)
Do not file a Divorce Case.
A
divorce case can often create wrong impression about the man in
judge's mind. Many judges are antidivorce.
Do
not quit your Job. Not having a job can go against you.
2)
File a Child Custody case after proper consultation with Lawyer.
Do
not make too many allegations against wife and divert the issue.
Focus on Child's well being and
child's
right to be in touch with both biological parents.
3)
Tell the judge, my old parents want to see and hold the child. My
mother is under depression.
(Remember,
a child has a right to ancestral property and grandparent's property.
So, grandparents have
a
right to see and hold the child).
Most
family court judges are old. They visualise their own children or
grandchildren.
4)
Be Patient. It is most likely that your wife may not come to court or
try to delay the case. So, attempt
to
get quick dates. Request the judge to bring the child to court so
that you can see the child.
5)
Do not get dejected, if judge orders very less visitation time. Be
happy that you are with your child
even
for an hour. Judges generally experiment and see your attitude and
slowly increase the visitation
or
shared parenting duration.
6)
Your child may have forgotten you (if he/she is too small) or if they
are brainwashed and subjected to
Parental
Alienation Syndrome (PAS). Do not be surprised if child turns
hostile, refuses to meet or talk to
you.
If
judge asks the child, do you want to go with Papa and child is not
clear then highlight that the child
could
have been threatened or alienated against you. Do it peacefully with
a smile.
SIF
- How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks
7)
If the child is very hostile, you can ask the judge to refer to a
child psychologist to ascertain the reason
for
child's behaviour.
8)
In most cases, females do not allow men to see children even after
court's order. One has to ask for
execution
of the order. So, do not get happy as soon as you get order in your
favour. Getting order often
is
just half of the battle.
=====
9)
Unite and Protest every Father's Day to highlight child's rights to
be with both parents in June.
10)When
you get a chance, get your story in media. That can create pressure
of the wife.
11)
If your wife is very hostile, and if the court order is for you to go
to her house to meet the child. Be
careful.
If she does not respond or gets hostile on phone, then ask the local
police station to give
protection
to you as you meet the child. Generally police will not agree. But,
all these techniques can
work
partially.
12)
Remember, in many countries women can lose custody of child, if they
do not attempt to involve the
father
or deny the father access to child, even after court order.
Learn
to use your own Lawyer than looking on piecewise legal tips and
tricks. Most lawyers do know
law.
Use SIF to verify if your lawyer is in right track or not.
==================
Your
Overall Battle Strategy in Marriage Problem has to be:
80%
Defense and 20% attack.
Defense
includes, defense of existing cases, defense of your money, property,
defense of your bodymind
and
mental health. I have seen a lot of guys facing mental and physical
ailments of some kind or
other
during these cases. That is why 80% of your energy to be for Defense.
If
you go for 80% ATTACK and 20% DEFENSE (which may be very tempting),
you will be in deep mental,
physical
and economic trouble on a long run.
The
Judiciary and Judges are regularly given Gender Sensitivity Trainings
by Feminists. So, Judges know
when
you are in form attacking and they try their best to defend your
wife. That is why often, in spite of
a
lot of effort and evidences, you see absolutely nothing happening to
your wife.
===============
Men’s
Rights and You
SIF
- How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks
It
is mandatory for you to fight for Men’s Rights and work to end
Misandry. SIF and its platform
do
not provide support to men who are feminists or men, who trivialize
pain and deaths of
men,
while claiming that women face more hardships than men in any
society.
http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/misandry
You
have to continuously clean the Internalized Misandry that is your
inherent hatred against
fellow
men. Do not get surprised, since more than 3000 years society
conditions men to hate
fellow
men and enjoy sufferings of fellow men.
It
is this anti-male social conditioning that used to make people enjoy
Gladiators fight in Roman
Empire.
This is also responsible for slavery, caste based discrimination,
racism and wars, in
which
it is mostly men who suffered. Today, violence against men is
entertainment in movies
and
in media.
All
adult men hate men. Today, you are suffering with bad laws and
discrimination, because as
an
adult man you hated men and trivialized pain, misery and deaths of
men.
If
you are still confused, here is a TEST to find whether you hate men
or not.
Watch
these three Videos. If you would have found them or similar videos
humorous at some
point
of time in your life, you still have misandry inside you. All men who
find these videos
humorous
have misandry inside them (ie. They hate men).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZK_Ej4MzYc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FCMwsPrYjk&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LX60qUNYRwc
When
you have hated men for so many years, today the same hatred has come
back at you and
your
family. Today, men all over India and world hate you because some
woman has made false
allegations
against you and decided to create misery in your life. The same
hatred or misandry
today
will make judges to be unsympathetic to you and your own friends and
relatives distrust
you.
You
may have believed in “Good versus Evil” Battles since Mahabharata
days. Today, they are
nothing
but manifestation of Misandry, the hatred of men in the society.
SIF
- How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks
As
you read this, the hatred inside you for all men will resist, but it
will start disappearing. The
more
you clean your hatred for men, the more free and peaceful you will
be. Your hatred for
men
will get replaced by your love for men around you.
Take
this Oath of Masculinists Now:
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masculism)
I
am a Man and I swear this oath
I
am a Man before
I am all other things
All
Men are Men
All
Men are Good
All
Men are Worthy
All
Masculinists are Dutiful.
All
Men are my Brothers
I
will cherish, love, uphold
and protect
My
Brothers before all others
I
promise to
recognize, challenge and utterly destroy
Every
last vestige of Misandry
Even
that which
occurs within myself
In
thought, feeling, word and deed
I
do hereby affirm
To
remain steadfast to this
My
most solemn oath
Buddha
said, your sufferings and misery is due to your desires in life. If
you lower or minimize
expectations
from life, your sufferings will drastically reduce and you will be
more energetic
and
feel power inside. This universal mantra works in our case as well.
If you have too many
SIF
- How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks
dreams,
hopes and expectations like most people in this world, then your
sufferings will be
more.
To
be continued with more pages and more information in next versions….
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