Dont Quit

"Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion." -Muhammad Ali

Advice to Women on IPC 498A and Domestic Violence and Maintenance Cases

This blog gets a reasonable number of hits everyday.  The main goal of the blog is clearly mentioned, both in its name, and in description.  However it is quite likely that some of the visitors are women who have wandered over here and have filed a complaint against husband/in-laws/relatives/children/pet dog, or intend to do so.  This post is specifically meant for them.

Firstly, IPC 498a was made to protect a woman from injury to life or limb, or mental harassment to the extent to drive her to suicide.   All problems in marital life do not attract 498a, to the extent made clear in this SC judgment too.

Q: I want him to stay away from his parents and take a separate house, but he will not listen.

A: Maybe you do not realize that we are not living in a western country, where it is normal for individuals to live their own lives, and parents to live separately from children.  Be sure that this is the same result you want from your brothers, i.e., they too should abandon parents or their wives should file 498a on them and surprise!!!, you may also get included as an accused, being relative of a husband.  Or you firmly believe that when your children grow up, they are also entitled to ask you and your husband to move out since you are such a drag on their lives.  Children learn from parents -- what goes around, comes around.

Q: But I need to teach a lesson to my husband, his parents etc. etc..

A: You will definitely be able to teach lesson but the results may not be what you intended.  A sure separation/divorce is guaranteed in every 498a case.  Be very clear if that is what you want by misusing law meant to protect women in desperate situation.

Q: I want to get a divorce and will not get one easily, so filing 498a may help me to get divorce.

A: Did it ever occur to you that laws are made in a democratic country by their elected representatives, and you are also responsible for the laws by having elected (or not voted) the lawmakers?  Taking an illegal shortcut to achieve your ends may work in short term, but it may also give unintended results you did not hope for.  For example, if you want to remarry after divorce, you may find out that many divorcee men do not want to marry ex-498a wives, since they fear they and their families could get hit by 498a by you after marriage.  Be careful what you wish for.

On the other hand, many men have also learnt the techniques on how to survive false 498a cases,  this blog is just one effort to help them fight injustice.  So if you hoped for a quick divorce and fat alimony, but instead found out to be hanging around in courts with no divorce in sight, then that option of mutual consent divorce which you forego will seem like such a great idea!  Alas, 498a is non-compoundable in most states, so now you got stuck.

Finally, following is official advice of Hyderabad police for women who want to file 498a.  See if something is applicable for your case:
http://www.hyderabadpolice.gov.in/WomenCorner/498A.htm

Q: My husband does not listen to me, I want to file for maintenance under CrPC 125, DV Act (PWDVA) etc. because I am entitled to that as a wife.  I will stay separately and enjoy the maintenance every month without having to work.

A: Surely you have been advised by some well-wishers, maybe even lawyers you approached.  It reminds me of the saying: “With friends like these, who needs enemies?”.  Did they not tell you that to file under DV Act, you have to allege domestic violence, so they will give you some cookie-cutter template to insert into your petition to allege things like: “I was not given food”, “I was thrown out in middle of night”, “I was locked in the bathroom by my mother-in-law”, and so on.

If any of these things are true or something similarly bad was done to you, then and then only you are eligible to file complaint under DV Act.  If husband and his family have proofs otherwise, you may get nothing.  Even if they are unable to prove, but you are unable to prove either, you may get a token maintenance.  Did you intend to live next 30-40 years living like that?  If you get remarried, then maintenance will also end.  If you are capable of working, you could have a career, and earn lot more while doing something useful.  But your advisers will not let you see that, they want you to believe you could get all the golden eggs by killing the hen right away.  Option of filing maintenance should be used only if you cannot earn, and cannot live with husband due to his fault.

There is also a misconception being propagated that DV Act is more civil in nature, unlike 498a.  So you can use DV Act to get maintenance from husband, and still continue to enjoy the status of being married (on paper at least).  The problem is that you have to allege domestic violence under DV complaint, and if allegations are false, then your husband and his relatives will never trust you again in their life.  A DV complaint is also a route to final divorce, just like 498a.  If anyone says otherwise including your lawyer, ask them how many cases they have handled where woman and man are living happily in marriage after DV complaint was filed?

Read this post by another woman, who is happily re-married for 14 years now after becoming widow, but wants to file DV case on previous in-laws. 

http://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/domestic-voilence-a-new-turn-26194.asp
can a widow who remarried and is living happily with her new husband with whom she has kids, can file case under D V act on her previous father in law and mother in law ,after 11 yrs of her remarriage .her first hubby died in 1993 and she got remarried in 1996, whats her locus standi
pl advice

Even though she says she is living happily, probably she is not happy enough, so her ‘advisers’ will try to make her happier, but these advisers will stick around with you only so long as the going is good.  And you will get dropped like a hot stone as soon as they realize that you are not going to bring much moolah for anyone.

Here is a public legal notice by a mother against her own daughter, who probably filed false complaint against her husband and got divorce.  When you misuse law, you break the trust of many people, including your own blood relatives, so don’t be surprised at the results.

Source : http://nyayayodha.blogspot.in/

Various Modes to Crack 498A and Related Cases

METHOD 1. FOLLOWING THE TRIAL & PROVING INNOCENCE.

Advantages:
 
1. Text book method following judicial system to get the formal acquittal order.
2. Post acquittal, we can file perjury U/s 340, malicious prosecution & defamation suit, which will destroy the 498a family completely.
3. Scope for financial compensation thru defamation suit.

Disadvantages:
 
1.Time consuming; have to be patient with great Indian Judiciary's efficiency.
2.Will take anything between 2 7 Yrs.
3.Need to cope up half baked lawyers from both the sides.

METHOD 2. FILING COUNTER-CASES AGAINST 498a FAMILY.

Advantages:
 
1. By giving the same medicine to the opponents, 498a case may get over in short time.(DP3, Threatening, Cheating, 406 etc)
2. Indirect pressure can be created to the opponents, so that they will not not time to harass you more.

Disadvantages:
 
1.Very delicate in nature. Needs to do lot of home work & legal analysis, before retaliating with counter-cases.
2.Very Costly affair & time consuming.
3.Counter-cases may back fire, if not launched properly.
4.Some counter-cases may be of cooked nature, which will be a "misuse of law" & against our SIFF policies.
5. Has to deal with lawyers & will be another headache.

METHOD 3. COMPLAINING TO HIGHER AUTHORITIES:

Advantages:
 
1.Taking the case details based on merit,to higher authorities & Officers such as Human rights, DGP, Collector, Commissioner, Home Secretary, Income Tax Dept. etc, will solve the case in shorter time.
2.Cheaper mode & may close the cases in shorter time duration.(1- 6 Months)
3.Can handle without much legal aid & lawyers.
4. All the cases shall be closed in ONE GO. (498a, Divorce, Maintenance, DV etc)

Disadvantages:
 
1.This mode will be applicable based on 498a family & opponents profile & background.
2.Complaints have to be placed immediately after the threats & cases.
3.Government machinery may not work with expected efficiency, which may delay the process.

4. USING RTI APPLICATIONS:

Advantages:
 
1.Cheapest mode & consumes relatively lesser time to close the case.(4 12 Months)
2.We can screw the 498a family royally, with this "Legal Cruelty" tool.
3.May cause irretrievable damage to the opponents, apart from closure of 498a case & other related cases.
4.Can handle without legal aid & lawyers.
5.No limit & can fire numerous RTIs based on the opponents' profile.
6. Can be used against POLICE & JUDICIAL SYSTEM to create indirect pressure by exposing their law violations & atrocities.

Disadvantages:
 
1.498a family members or witnesses, needs to be government jobs & related activities.
2.Needs to cope up with time delay for RTI replies from govt. departments & information commission response for appeals.
3.Government machinery may not work with expected efficiency.
4.Very indirect method of attacking the opponents.
5. Needs lot of brainstorming before drafting RTI queries, to hit the Bulls' Eye.


Source : http://bok498a.blogspot.in/

Never commit suicide - Instead go and kill the problem

My advice has worked positively for few people I interacted so thought of sharing with all I can. Someone was frustrated and said “I want to commit suicide.” I suggested what I tell myself. I am very polite & soft person but not so for those who thought of hitting me.

To that person I told that you would make your enemy happy & give pain to loved ones. Look at the love in your life. This is what you accomplish with suicide.That you cannot kill himself as

1. We never see any animal doing it. Are you worse than animals?
2. Problem remains and you are gone.
3. You have not really fought like a warrior.

Now that problem has given you so much pain why are you not going to hit back at it. Hit at the problem without fear of death as you are ready to kill yourself. Let that problem kill you in this fight & this method of suicide is what I would suggest you. When you will go ahead with this attitude you will die a heroic death & not like that of a looser.

Let problem get taste of what it has given you. Let it fear you.
Now choose what you want to do.

It was surprising that people did fight this way & succeeded in killing the problem or problem had become smaller.

Go before God as warrior killed in field fighting problem & not like someone who left the battlefield.

Read “DO NOT COMPROMISE” as you should not forget that this person was once a reason for suicide. You will see that person pushing for negotiations & this is how I negotiate. NO I DO NOT DO THIS.

My advice to that person was I myself think.LIVE LIFE to see your opponent on negotiating table return empty handed.

Src : http://misuseof498alaw.blogspot.in/2011/06/never-commit-suicide-instead-go-and.html

What is actual conviction rate in 498A

Please understand few things with reference to criminal cases and 498-A in particular. As the saying goes Statistics tell few things, but hide a lot more. The no of people spending time in prison may not have anything to do with the total convictions happening in trial courts.

Most of the times, it is not only one section of IPC that an alleged criminal is booked. Most of the 498-A cases has another couple of sections attached. Most of the instances these sections are 406 and 506 of IPC. And if the female is no longer alive, the sections added are 304-B, 306 etc etc.

Now coming to the low conviction rate for 498-A alone of in conjunction with other alleged crimes. Here are few things which should be thought for your mind and others.

1. For conviction to happen in lower court and the same to be sustained in higher court in appeal, the prosecution should establish the guilt of the accused beyond reasonable boubt. To think of reasonable doubt, see any FIR and there are allegations abound which makes the accused look like a dracula. The establishment of the tall story they made in FIR through evidences is a tough task. The non-proving of the tall claims lead to a doubt in the mind of court that the story in FIR is concocted and untrue and which should mean acquittal. However, there have been instances where the courts have erred and convicted an accused based on just the testimony and doubtful evidences, the same have been acquitted in appeal.

2. Most of the 498-A cases are compounded/ quashed by mutual consent before the completion of trial. As the justice delivery system is so prolonged after the initial heal settles down or the ego of the girl's family is satiated that they have atleast once imprisoned the boy and his family member. The cries of compromise begins. Most don't want to spend the lives in courts and going grey in the head. Hence a settlement is reached. Few judges and lawyers told me that the rate of such quashing is as high as 90-95% of total cases filed. Hence low conviction rate is just a by-product of such settlements.

3. Most of the cases that you read in websites etc are appeal cases. Which means that either the appeal is made to the court of second appeal, which is High Court (Session is often court of first appeal) or court of last resort, which is Supreme Court. Now come to think of it, who would go to these courts, the people who are convicted for a larger sentence than they have already undergone. For example an accused spent 30 days in prison before getting bail, and the court convicts him to 30 days only. Then there is no point of that person spending another years in courts trying to clear his name. Or a person is convicted and the judge left him by stating, "Mr. X, you are reprimanded." or by sentencing him till the lifting of the court.

These kind of cases rarely come for appeal. Similarly when the conviction is set aside by the Session Court, the appeal to High Court is unheard of.State generally does not go in for appeal if the person is acquitted. (There is a tendency on part of few judges to convict a person citing some vague reason to the term already undergone so as to avoid further litigation of defamation etc.).

Hence deducing anything from looking at cases on websites and figures of NCRB would be absurd.

And anyways having a fear of being convicted while fighting these cases is a recipe for disaster. I would rather say it like this, rarely an innocent person is convicted in Indian Courts. However there are instances when the culprits have been let loose.

And also, to add some more, I would like to tell you that when the trial court convicts a person for 498-A or any crime which has a punishment of upto 3 years, it extends the bail period to enable the person to go in for appeal. The convicted person is not remanded to custody unless he has exhausted the option of first appeal.

Src : http://misuseof498alaw.blogspot.in/2011/06/what-is-actual-conviction-rate-in-498a.html

Parental intrusion ruining couples' marital life: Delhi high court

NEW DELHI: The interference of parents in the married life of their daughters has become a major cause for playing havoc with the lives of young couples post marriage, the Delhi high court has said.

Expressing concern over rift between couples due to parents' persistent interference in their daughter's married life, Justice Kailash Gambhir upheld a lower court's decree of divorce to a man on the ground of his in-laws' frequent interference in his marital life.

Justice Gambhir said parents should draw a line to let their daughters lead happy married lives.

"All parents guide, teach and discipline their daughters and are concerned about their welfare after marriage but it is imperative for parents to draw a line as the prime concern should be that their daughter is happily settled in a new atmosphere at the husband's place," he said.

But, it should not mean day-to-day monitoring of the affairs taking place at the matrimonial home of the daughter, he said.

Parents should not become uninvited judges of problems of their daughter, become an obstacle in the daughter's married life, plant thoughts in her mind and gain control over her and promote disharmony in her family life, the judge said.

"They are expected to advise, support and believe in their upbringing maintaining a discreet silence about the affairs of the matrimonial relationship," the court said.

"The present case is an unfortunate example where the parents of the appellant, instead of putting out the fire have fuelled and fanned it," the court said, dismissing an appeal filed by the wife challenging the lower court's order granting the man decree of divorce.

According to the husband, the difference with his wife started a few months after their marriage in 1990 due to frequent interference of his in-laws.

He alleged that he was even hit publicly by his father-in law two years after his marriage.

Seeking decree of divorce, he had approached the court, which allowed his plea on the grounds of cruelty by his wife due to continuous interference by his in-laws.

So, Unwanted intrusion  into their children's married life create a lot of problems leading to divorce.

Info:http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Parental-intrusion-ruining-couples-marital-life-Delhi-high-court/articleshow/7529075.cms

Just married Have you applied for Bail by Suresh P

બેંગ્લોર નો આઈ ટી એન્જીનીયર તેના લગ્ન પછી કઈ રીતે કાયદાકીય મુશ્કેલી માં ફસાય જાય છે અને પછી કઈ રીતે પોતાની જાત ને આ કાયદાકીય ત્રાસવાદ (૪૯૮(ક) અથવા તો ૪૯૮(અ)) ના કેસ (દહેજ ની માંગણી અને શારીરિક માનસિક ત્રાસ ) ને લડવા માટે પોતાના મન ને મક્કમ કરે છે તેણી એક સચોટ આલેખન આ પુસ્તક માં કરેલ છે.

એક વાર તો વાંચવા જેવું ખરું જ .

How to Get Peace when marriage is on the Rocks

SIF - How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks

Table of Contents

1. How to get online support?

2. Warning about involvement of Lawyers.

3. How to use SIF Local Chapter meetings?

4. SIF Partner Organisations for Specialist Guidance and/or Campaigns.

5. What is the Life Cycle of Marital Problems?

6. Generic Legal Strategy for Beginners.

7. Guidance if you are anticipating 498a or dowry cases.

8. How to get to see Child and Shared Parenting.

Happy Reading through this PDF Book!!

The Authors and Save Indian Family will not take any responsibility for any actions taken by

members based on the advice or guidance in this book and any consequences arising out of

these actions. People are advised to consult their psychologist or lawyer before taking actions.

The Authors will really appreciate if you do not call us arrogant fools, selfish dictators, hypocrites and cheats who deserve a

case of IPC section 420!!

© 2012, gorky_maksim@yahoo.com

Publisher: Save Indian Family, Yahoogroup SaveIndianFamily.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This book contains material protected under International, and Federal

Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of

this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical,

including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express

written permission from the author / publisher.

SIF - How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks

How to Get Online Support when you are in SIF?

You can get basic elementary support and coaching in SIF Yahoogroup.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/saveindianfamily/

You can also join and use Chat in Save Indian Family Facebook group to chat with members.

http://www.facebook.com/groups/125795646030/

You can also chat with Masculinist Sumanth, Rukmachary, Amit Deshpande, Rajesh Vakharia etc

in facebook.

http://www.facebook.com/sumanth167; http://www.facebook.com/rukmachary

http://www.facebook.com/adeshpande1;http://www.facebook.com/rajesh.vakharia.5

Please note, the best person to get Legal Advice is your Lawyer, because Lawyers in India do

know the Law. You can speak to SIF members to verify if lawyer is doing good job or just

bullshitting. Please Remember: Laws are not followed or implemented same way across India.

They differ from state to state and city to city or rural areas. Your Local Lawyer or Local city

SIF members know that better than SIF guys in other cities.

Warning about Lawyers Involvement:

SIF is not run by Lawyers. SIF members do not (also must not) recommend Lawyers to other

members. In a real emergency, lawyers may be suggested with clear disclaimer to members

that SIF or its members will not be responsible for any consequences including arrests, jailing or

loss of money arising out of the advice or services given by those lawyers. A member who seeks

lawyer during that emergency will take all responsibility for the lawyer’s action.

How to Use SIF Local Chapter meetings?

A number of big cities and state capitals have SIF Local Chapters, which conduct weekend

meetings, where a member can get free advice, support and coaching. They are much more

than some legal advice forums.

These meetings are like Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. You will feel good when you meet

other men facing the same problem and when you and they share each other’s emotions. No

man is judged in these meetings and no one will take your wife’s side in this meeting. No one

will also tell you to compromise and be a slave of your wife (like the way some of your friends

or relatives do).

However, SIF and its Local Chapters expect you to be a Men’s Rights Activist and campaign

against the Gender Biased Laws. This is mandatory condition for being a member. The amount

SIF - How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks

of work expected from an activist is very less. So, just do not worry. Of course, if you are

passionate and wish to contribute a lot as a volunteer and men’s rights activist, No one will stop

you.

In Local Chapter meetings, listen patiently to complete stories of at least 5 members, who

have faced threats, abuse or legal cases and appear to be happy, strong, passionate and

peaceful in spite of all the adverse circumstances. Do not get attracted to those SIF members,

who are sad, suck life and seem frustrated. This is very important.

You can find phone numbers of many SIF local chapters at:

www.savefamily.org , www.saveindianfamily.org

If you observe any unethical activities in SIF Local chapters, then you can contact following

people in facebook.

http://www.facebook.com/swarup.sarkar.754; http://www.facebook.com/menseekjustice

http://www.facebook.com/sumanth167

If you want to be a volunteer for guiding and coaching distressed men or if you want to create a

local chapter in India or abroad, then Sumanth conducts a free course for a few days in a month

in facebook chat or skype. This coaching helps you make distressed men more peaceful and

relaxed apart from helping you developing legal strategies for them.

http://www.facebook.com/sumanth167

SIF Partner Organisations (NGOs and Companies)

SIF Partner Organisations are associates of SIF due to their similar goals for protecting Men’s

Rights and end Gender Biased roles. These partner organizations further specialize on different

Men’s Rights issues, coaching and strategies etc. Generally, you will find specialists and

experts in these Partner Organisations.

Partner Organisations extend the scope and the reach of SIF in different dimensions. For

example, CRISP is a Father’s Rights Partner Organisation of SIF, only specializing in Father’s

Rights and Child Custody. It has supported many men and some very high profile cases, where

CBI got involved and Supreme Court gave the NRI child to father. Similarly, AIMPF is a Partner

Organisation run by “Mothers of Abused Men”.

Remember, not all partner NGOs may provide free services like SIF or SIF local chapters. Some

can have membership fees and some may expect a donation. SIF stops partnering with any

organization that promotes feminism, women’s rights or misandry.

SIF - How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks

In Future, it is expected that SIF’s Partner Organisations will create Domestic Violence Shelters,

Hostels and old age homes for Men and Male Studies and male gender sensitivity courses for

colleges and workshops for Corporates.

Some of the Partner Organisations are:

Children’s Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP)

It is headed by Kumar Jahgirdar, Father of India’s Father’s rights movement. He fought for more

than decade to get custody of his daughter from his ex-wife, who married Cricketer Anil

Khumble. Through its campaigns, protests and huge awareness through media articles and TV

interviews, CRISP changed the scene for shared parenting in India for many fathers. Without

CRISP, almost all fathers would not have been even seeing their children today.

Website: www.crisp-india.org

CRISP may expect a donation or sponsorships during its campaigns and protests.

Center for Men’s Rights:

CMR Provides counseling to men, who are facing any violation of their fundamental or human rights

mainly because of their male gender. CMR also conducts public awareness events, workshops,

seminars, and press conferences on issues of men’s rights and welfare.

Website: http://menrights.org

CMR mentions a yearly membership fee of Rs.300 to be paid during enrollment.

MyNation Foundation:

My Nation is Men’s Rights Self Help Support Group for victims of false cases of dowry

harassment or section 498a and Other Gender biased Laws. My nation campaigns to expose the

feminists and end the gender biased laws by making all laws gender neutral. It also campaigns

for banning all abortions/foeticide and establishment of men’s welfare ministry.

Website: http://mynation.net

My Nation may expect a donation from its members.

Confidare India:

Confidare India specializes in giving 24/7 support and coaching to its members. Members can

seek guidance, support and coaching via email, phone call or visits to its Center at Bangalore.

Confidare’s life-coaching gives as much emphasis on mental well being and peace of a

victimized man, as much as it focuses on legal strategies, police complaints and RTIs etc.

Website: www.confidareindia.com

Confidare has a half yearly membership fee Rs.2500 for resident Indians.

SIF - How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks

 

Rakshak Foundation

Rakshak is the only credible organization for men’s rights outside India. It is based in California,

USA. Rakshak has maintained helplines for men in USA and it runs a forum for NRI men in its

website. Rakshak has campaigned and lobbied for changes of gender biased laws, especially

section 498a of IPC and it has testified before Indian Parliament for changes in Gender Biased

Laws. Rakshak Foundation is 501 (c)(3) certified and hence the donations made to Rakshak

Foundation are tax exempt.

Website: www.498a.org

Rakshak may expect a donation or membership fee. According to Rakshak website, for its

awareness campaigns Rakshak suggests a donation of USD 200.

What is the Life Cycle of Marital Problems?

The Marital problems generally start with differences, high expectations, abuse and domestic

violence against men. Women make a lot of personal emotional attacks on men trying to harm

their self esteem. They will find fault with anything the man does. Women are emotionally

intense and more stubborn than men. Lack of logic and a frame of reference in their minds

make it difficult for a man to deal with them during marital problems. In general, abusing

women resist going to any marital counselors.

The second phase of Marital Problems is when her parents get involved and together with wife

they all start abusing the man.

The third phase is when they actually threaten of revenge, police cases and taking revenge on

the man and his family.

Now, all these phases may happen in 10 days of marriage or even 20 years of marriages.

The fourth phase is when the wife goes to police stations to complain against husband or when

wife deserts him or when wife files any other cases in family court, Domestic violence courts

etc. This is the most difficult phase for men.

The fifth phase is when a man is much into criminal cases and/or civil family court cases or

domestic violence cases. Actually, this is more or less a pretty safe and peaceful phase for men

provided men really get in touch with “REALITY”. However, most men suffer most in this phase

due to living in delusions. This phase can be often being as long as 7 to 8 years or even more. A

man may file for child custody and get shared parenting during this time. A lot of financial and

psychological damage happens to most men during this time, often prime of their life.

SIF - How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks

The sixth phase is when either the man wins the court cases, or he does some sort of monetary

settlements to wife or succumbs to their legal extortion and gets divorce.

The seventh phase is the phase of recovery for man. He may or may not think of remarrying.

Please note, this is Life Cycle of Marital Problems. The court cases in 5th phase have their own

life cycles.

A lot of misery, loss of money and pain can be reduced if men do not make serious strategic

mistakes in first four phases. However, only a few men have patience, tolerance and wisdom to

stop them from making strategic mistakes. Most men make serious strategic mistakes by overreacting

due to their arrogance, over confidence on judicial system, bad estimation of court

delays, bad estimation of lawyer fees and miscalculation of wife’s plans.

Most men think Judges are dumb and judges will allow high speed legal counter attacks by

men. The reality is most judges are actually like wife’s lawyers and who will go to great lengths

to protect the wife and discriminate the man. Many men also use “nice guy” arguments

believing that “I am a nice guy and hence I should get justice” theme will make the judges take

fair decisions.

Most Indian Judges are given trainings of gender sensitivity by feminists and hence the entire

system is institutionalized to discriminate men, even when a woman is clearly wrong in 10

different counts with all evidences.

So, the only formula for a Man is:

Fight an Extremely Defensive Battle initially.

For a year or year and half, just restrain yourself and let the woman burn all her ammunitions.

(Learn all the legal tricks and court craft by this time). Keep your legal weapons sharpened.

Just wait. Do nothing. Do absolutely nothing. The temptations can be very high.

Allow her to make mistakes and contradictions in her complaints and in her petitions.

After 1.5 year to 2 years, choose and select the finest yet strong legal offensive.

(A surgeon who performs surgery with a minor incision is much better than a surgeon who

makes 10 cuts all over the body to do a single operation.)

Avoid those legal steps, which your wife anticipates. Your goal has to confuse her and keep her

in uncertainty.

SIF - How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks

So, remember: The battle is 80% defense and 20% attack.

Defense means defense of police complaints, court cases, your personal well being, your

money, your time and even wellbeing of your own mental health and family relationships.

When you have a good defense, you will not make any mistakes and while her legal mistakes

will slowly mount. Why?

When women desert men and go to police stations etc, a lot of people egg on them. Apart from

their parents, the police, the lawyers and the relatives tell her, “We will teach the bastard a

lesson”. That will keep the moral of the woman very high. This over confidence makes her make

legal mistakes. Her lawyers often use “fixed legal templates” rather preparing her complete

petitions from start. These templates will automatically create contradictions.

Please note, most women just like men do not like courts and police stations, which are very

uncomfortable places. So, their motivation is to file the cases and vanish. That is actually good

for a man. A woman who is used to courts is a dangerous woman.

So, do not make her get used to courts with legal counter attacks from very beginning. She will

be protected by judiciary and she may become uncomfortable or under duress for sometime

but when she recovers, she becomes an expert in this nasty game.

For 1.5 years to 2 years, defend yourself, your money and your time. Get used to her all attacks,

save your job and get educated from SIF and learn how courts and laws work, enjoy life. In the

meantime, her returns from all her offenses will drastically reduce and her motivation will

weaver. Then, start executing your few but precise pre-calculated legal offenses.

It is all about who blinks first. You must not be the first one to blink first.

In short, fight a battle of Attrition, not a battle of Escalation.

Your goal is to save your resources (money, time, job, mental well being) and allow her deplete

her resources. A legal escalation from your side from the very beginning will rapidly deplete

your resources, while her resources remain intact.

SIF - How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks

Do not apply divorce:

It has been found that the time it takes to get divorce is often independent of when you file

divorce. Men who did not file divorce at all, can get divorce by mutual consent or wife filing

divorce in 2 to 4 years, whereas, men who file divorce may not get divorce after 5 or 6 years.

Getting divorce is not a function of legal advice or legal expertise. Getting divorce in India is a

function of how smart and strategic you are. Of course, a few of you may be smart, yet unlucky.

Women expect men to file divorce. Women enjoy the pleasure of seeing their men without

partners getting tormented without being able to have sex. When you do not file divorce, this

entire well known game fails and the woman loses all that pleasure of seeing you getting

tormented. She will be in great pain for not being able to use your male sexuality against you.

Get a girlfriend, if you really want female company. Trust me; it is no big deal for any guy.

Of course, you can choose to file divorce, when you see your wife is mostly defanged or she is

not doing anything for two or more years after deserting you.

What is battle of Escalation?

Wife threatens 498a and DV cases and demands huge money.

Due to advice of family elders and pressure from parents, you sit for settlement talks. She asks

50 Lakhs and you offer 10 Lakhs. (First big Mistake on your Part)

No settlement. Wife files 498a and DV cases with a lot of lies. You somehow get bail.

As you want to get out quickly, based on lawyer's advice, you file Divorce.

Wife demands maintenance. (Now, you have 3 Cases to fight).

You try to file DP-3 on wife and waste time running to police stations. Finally you file it. (It is 4th

case)

Now, wife files some other criminal case on you (say trespass case) or cyber crime case. (Now it

is 5th case)

SIF - How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks

Maintenance is ordered in lower court. You go for appeal. (Now, it is 6th Case)

You go to High Court for Quash and get a stay in 498a. (It is 7th Court case now).

By this time, you have taken too many leaves, spent too much money, and you are still trapped,

while all you wanted was to get out quickly. Your boss threatens to sack you.

You have depleted your all mental energy, time and money. Now, you risk losing Job and lose

Job.

After losing Job, it becomes even more difficult.

Someone suggests you to fight Party in Person and you will wonder about not taking up a job to

make maintenance zero. Your financial resources deplete further. If you have a child and you

file child custody case, it makes your situation even worse.

If you have cases in different cities, you are even more badly screwed travelling around.

When you file cases, you assume that Courts are fair and balanced. That assumption

unfortunately is terribly wrong.

==============

Do not fight Battle of Escalation.

Do not increase your cases, from your side.

Do not File Divorce in first place.

Reserve your Legal offenses for right time. It generally starts after 1.5 to 2nd year of her

offensive.

Exploit your wife's lies in existing cases.

Make her deplete her resources, by behaving in unanticipated way.

Most women anticipate you to file Divorce.

When you do not file Divorce, it often confuses women.

================

SIF - How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks

How to Protect yourself when you anticipate a Section 498a case?

1) Do not think that filing divorce will stop her 498a.

2) Divorce is a crucial card that must not be wasted in the beginning.

So, do not file divorce.

There is nothing called "first legal blow" that will put woman on defensive.

Such macho thinking has screwed many men. Do not think that a cricket batsman

should try to hit sixes and fours from the first over in a one day game.

How do you defend against 498a?

===========================

1) Do not stay with parents or brothers/sisters. Stay separately.

That way, police can not arrest everyone at same time. Go to a cheap paying guest or shared

accommodation with some friend. Naturally female will not know where u are staying.

I know, most parents and most guys do not like it due to "mera beta...mera beta syndrome".

2) Never change or switch off mobile phones. Some 498a women and police now a days have a tendency

to contact you before they attack.

3) Most parents do a lot of emotional drama when there are threats of 498a. Some parents may listen to

lawyer and trust him more than you. Fathers sometimes force guys to send legal notices to female or

even file divorce. Old people think with inflexible mind. Their anxiety can take a toll on the guy.

So, just relax and tell them to relax. Get a brother or cousin to convince parents and take care of their

swinging emotions.

4) Apply anticipatory bail. Do not bother if lawyer says it will expire in next 2 months.

5) Never do settlement talks and never involve parents. Never give counter offer to them if they

demand 20 lakhs or 50 lakhs etc.

SIF - How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks

It is a strategic mistake. Guys who offer 8 or 10 lakhs, make the girl feel confident that "10 lakhs is

assured" even before the case. This will motivate her to increase her pressure by filing more and more

cases and giving more and more threats.

If you tell the girl:

I will go to jail for a few days, I will give you "zero" money and I will fight cases for next 15 years till

supreme court. I am "Ek Panti Vrat Pati" like Bhagawan Ram. I will never give you divorce and now the

choice is yours.

Then, she has a lot of home work to do and she has got a lot of uncertainty in her hands.

6) If your lawyer is talking about settlement, then change the lawyer.

7) If there is any sign of she filing 498a, then just abscond. Your whole family should abscond.

8) Never walk into a police station when they call you saying, your wife has filed a complaint. Send your

lawyer.

Police cannot call you just like that on phone. They have to send summons or notice of appearance to

appear before them. Be courageous and peacefully tell police,"I am busy I will call in 15 minutes". After

15 minutes call police and tell them,"I love my wife. Please send me a notice to my address to appear in

person in your police station, then I will appear."

Police will understand what exactly you are talking. They may get angry or show irritation. That is like a

"territorial aggression" that many animals show (remember movie Avatar). Hold your ground and be

firm.

9) In your company, tell your boss that your father-in-law is a goon and he is trying to get you beaten up.

He may implicate me in false cases. Do not share too much freely with managers even if they show a lot

of sympathy and agreement with you.

10) Plan for safe exists from your company in case, police comes there. (It is like using a back gate etc, or

any other such technique). Police generally does not enter inside private companies.

So, the most important point is: Change your residential address or go to a paying guest

accommodation. Do not stay with your parents.

Be careful in Fridays and Saturdays. Trust us. This works.

Follow this advice exactly as it is. Do not just go somewhere to stay for 5 days and then come back to

your parent's house, when you see no risks.

SIF - How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks

Threats of 498a is called legal terrorism. A victim of legal terrorism cannot have a perfectly normal life

very soon. So, do not dream about marrying another beautiful girl to settle down in life just like your

father, grand father and great grandfather.We are paying for inaction and selfishness of all men born

before us. We are paying for not having any sympathy or concern for Men's Rights, until we ourselves

get screwed.

Finally, do not be afraid to go to jail. Nothing happens in Jail.

How to Get access to your Child and Get Shared Parenting or Custody?

So many guys have not been able to see their children. How do you access your children, get visitation,

custody and shared parenting?

1) Do not file a Divorce Case.

A divorce case can often create wrong impression about the man in judge's mind. Many judges are antidivorce.

Do not quit your Job. Not having a job can go against you.

2) File a Child Custody case after proper consultation with Lawyer.

Do not make too many allegations against wife and divert the issue. Focus on Child's well being and

child's right to be in touch with both biological parents.

3) Tell the judge, my old parents want to see and hold the child. My mother is under depression.

(Remember, a child has a right to ancestral property and grandparent's property. So, grandparents have

a right to see and hold the child).

Most family court judges are old. They visualise their own children or grandchildren.

4) Be Patient. It is most likely that your wife may not come to court or try to delay the case. So, attempt

to get quick dates. Request the judge to bring the child to court so that you can see the child.

5) Do not get dejected, if judge orders very less visitation time. Be happy that you are with your child

even for an hour. Judges generally experiment and see your attitude and slowly increase the visitation

or shared parenting duration.

6) Your child may have forgotten you (if he/she is too small) or if they are brainwashed and subjected to

Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). Do not be surprised if child turns hostile, refuses to meet or talk to

you.

If judge asks the child, do you want to go with Papa and child is not clear then highlight that the child

could have been threatened or alienated against you. Do it peacefully with a smile.

SIF - How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks

7) If the child is very hostile, you can ask the judge to refer to a child psychologist to ascertain the reason

for child's behaviour.

8) In most cases, females do not allow men to see children even after court's order. One has to ask for

execution of the order. So, do not get happy as soon as you get order in your favour. Getting order often

is just half of the battle.

=====

9) Unite and Protest every Father's Day to highlight child's rights to be with both parents in June.

10)When you get a chance, get your story in media. That can create pressure of the wife.

11) If your wife is very hostile, and if the court order is for you to go to her house to meet the child. Be

careful. If she does not respond or gets hostile on phone, then ask the local police station to give

protection to you as you meet the child. Generally police will not agree. But, all these techniques can

work partially.

12) Remember, in many countries women can lose custody of child, if they do not attempt to involve the

father or deny the father access to child, even after court order.

Learn to use your own Lawyer than looking on piecewise legal tips and tricks. Most lawyers do know

law. Use SIF to verify if your lawyer is in right track or not.

==================

Your Overall Battle Strategy in Marriage Problem has to be:

80% Defense and 20% attack.

Defense includes, defense of existing cases, defense of your money, property, defense of your bodymind

and mental health. I have seen a lot of guys facing mental and physical ailments of some kind or

other during these cases. That is why 80% of your energy to be for Defense.

If you go for 80% ATTACK and 20% DEFENSE (which may be very tempting), you will be in deep mental,

physical and economic trouble on a long run.

The Judiciary and Judges are regularly given Gender Sensitivity Trainings by Feminists. So, Judges know

when you are in form attacking and they try their best to defend your wife. That is why often, in spite of

a lot of effort and evidences, you see absolutely nothing happening to your wife.

===============

Men’s Rights and You

SIF - How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks

It is mandatory for you to fight for Men’s Rights and work to end Misandry. SIF and its platform

do not provide support to men who are feminists or men, who trivialize pain and deaths of

men, while claiming that women face more hardships than men in any society.

http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/misandry

You have to continuously clean the Internalized Misandry that is your inherent hatred against

fellow men. Do not get surprised, since more than 3000 years society conditions men to hate

fellow men and enjoy sufferings of fellow men.

It is this anti-male social conditioning that used to make people enjoy Gladiators fight in Roman

Empire. This is also responsible for slavery, caste based discrimination, racism and wars, in

which it is mostly men who suffered. Today, violence against men is entertainment in movies

and in media.

All adult men hate men. Today, you are suffering with bad laws and discrimination, because as

an adult man you hated men and trivialized pain, misery and deaths of men.

If you are still confused, here is a TEST to find whether you hate men or not.

Watch these three Videos. If you would have found them or similar videos humorous at some

point of time in your life, you still have misandry inside you. All men who find these videos

humorous have misandry inside them (ie. They hate men).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZK_Ej4MzYc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FCMwsPrYjk&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LX60qUNYRwc

When you have hated men for so many years, today the same hatred has come back at you and

your family. Today, men all over India and world hate you because some woman has made false

allegations against you and decided to create misery in your life. The same hatred or misandry

today will make judges to be unsympathetic to you and your own friends and relatives distrust

you.

You may have believed in “Good versus Evil” Battles since Mahabharata days. Today, they are

nothing but manifestation of Misandry, the hatred of men in the society.

SIF - How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks

As you read this, the hatred inside you for all men will resist, but it will start disappearing. The

more you clean your hatred for men, the more free and peaceful you will be. Your hatred for

men will get replaced by your love for men around you.

Take this Oath of Masculinists Now: (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masculism)

I am a Man and I swear this oath

I am a Man before I am all other things

All Men are Men

All Men are Good

All Men are Worthy

All Masculinists are Dutiful.

All Men are my Brothers

I will cherish, love, uphold and protect

My Brothers before all others

I promise to recognize, challenge and utterly destroy

Every last vestige of Misandry

Even that which occurs within myself

In thought, feeling, word and deed

I do hereby affirm

To remain steadfast to this

My most solemn oath

Buddha said, your sufferings and misery is due to your desires in life. If you lower or minimize

expectations from life, your sufferings will drastically reduce and you will be more energetic

and feel power inside. This universal mantra works in our case as well. If you have too many

SIF - How to Get Peace, when Marriage is on Rocks

dreams, hopes and expectations like most people in this world, then your sufferings will be

more.

To be continued with more pages and more information in next versions….